May 24th was a birthday of my daughter Medea. She wanted Sony Playstation 3 (80GB version) so she could play Grand Theft Auto 3 and still enjoy games issued for previous PlayStations. Learning that this technological marvel is going to be on severe backorder was a totally devastating experience for her. I mean, imagine, she could not virtually kill a prostitute witha baseball bat (that's what they promised in a CNN special feature on Grand Theft Auto 3) for another month!
In order to alleviate Medea's pain and suffering caused by a supply/demand crisis in videogame industry, I decided to shoot a little present for her. I bought a red snapper, and had a custom pitchfork made in a local hardware store. Then I went to this chick I knew, Mary... She was a model of choice for three reasons (being a wife of a brain surgeon is not one of them, it's purely incidental): she has a fabulous scar, a spectacular figure and a remarkably obedient rottweiler. We set everything up, the model put a latex suit on, and then I realized that we needed red electric tape to make the pitchfork more color-coordinated. So, the girl went to her neighbour's as red electric tape is not usually on her shopping list. The guy, an architect and apparently a fan of global-sized projects, was working his ass off moving a driveway. Mary with a dog and a pitchfork approached him when he was standing in a pose of a scared ostrich and asked for the red electric tape. Maybe he though that it was a hallucination caused by overflow of blood and too much sun, so, in order to make sure that it was for real, he asked what was it for. "For my new pitchfork", - she replied. The poor bloke silently went to his garage and came back with a roll of tape. He had not asked anything else, just gave her the tape and instantly evaporated.
Oh, I forgot... My daughter was extremely touched, so was Mary when she learned what was the picture for.